THE STRANGER AT HOME

The sun was winking with its warmth, while the wind cooled with an endless breeze. It was a morning in March and it was impossible to tell whether it was cold or warm. Sara got up early to this beautiful morning. She jumped into the kitchen early, hoping to surprise her family. She brewed tea with bergamot flavor, just the way her mother liked it. She thought she made the best-scrambled egg worthy of her brother’s taste. And for the must-have of a surprise breakfast, she ran to the bakery to get warm bagels.

But soon, the whole house was filled with the smell of burning. Sara's family woke up to the heavy scent, wondering if there was a fire. Instead, they found the surprise breakfast table: a mishmash of sweet and savory side by side, plates of all different colors, mismatched forks and knives, tea served in water glasses… Sara expected to see smiles on their faces, but the confusion in their eyes puzzled her.

Her family was looking at her as if she were a stranger at home. Her mother couldn’t help herself: “Oh, Sara, what is this mess?”

Her brother followed: “For heaven’s sake, is this what you call scrambled egg?”

And finally, her father sealed it: “Sweetheart, you turned the bread into stone while trying to toast it. The house is full of smoke. You really shouldn’t have bothered!”

But Sara had been so careful preparing this table. “Good deeds never go unpunished,” she thought to herself, “So what if it looks messy? And so what if the bread’s a little burnt? Bread is supposed to be eaten crunchy.”

Sara lost her appetite and left the table without eating. The family, while resetting the table, muttered: “What’s with her? She gets upset so easily!”

Neither they understood Sara, nor Sara could understand their reaction. All she wanted was a nice Sunday breakfast together as a family.

Then a thought crossed her mind: “Why are we so different in the same house? Why do I feel like a stranger under the same roof?”

While she was pondering this, she noticed how beautiful the weather was. With excitement, she came out of her room: “Hey, tomorrow’s school and today’s weather is amazing, why don’t we go somewhere? Maybe to the seaside or a park for a walk?” She bubbled with ideas, brimming with energy.

Her family, still recovering from the morning’s breakfast shock, were stunned again by Sara’s new suggestions and endless energy. Her father couldn’t take it anymore: “Sweetheart, Sundays are crowded everywhere. Driving is a hassle; we can’t even find a parking lot. If we go for a picnic, it’s windy. You want to walk in the park, but we’ve worked all week and we just want to rest. Tomorrow we’ll have to work again, so why tire ourselves out more? Best to stay in our warm home, relax our minds, put on an old movie, make some coffee, and that’s that.”

Sara’s mind returned to the same questions: “Why are we so different in the same house? Why do I feel like a stranger under the same roof?”

As if that weren’t enough, her mother chimed in:
“Let’s organize the kitchen cabinets—we haven’t gone through the drawers and cupboards in ages. And we still need to clear the table. Come on, dear, help me.”

Sara, disappointed, searched for a hole to hide in. She hated household chores, especially tidying cabinets and drawers…

“We sit at the same table, yet we barely know each other. At school, it’s the same with my friends. One day we’re totally in sync, the next day is opposite. Sometimes I hardly understand their words, habits, tastes, and preferences… How is this going to work? My best friend says my notes are a mess, yet she loves the way I explain things. And I still can’t make sense of her colorful papers and rainbow pens. But we study well together. So how do I make sense of this?”

Why do we sometimes feel like we don’t know the people closest to us at all?

Is there really a way to truly know the people?

Sara’s mind wouldn’t stop spinning: “I thought I knew people, but obviously something is missing. How can I understand them better, and make myself easier to understand? How can I know, accept, and show tolerance to people despite so many differences? I keep coming upon people whose natures are opposite of mine. Could these be the key to reach the balance of my nature?” The answers to all these questions are not as cryptic and far as we think.
The Experiential Design Teaching states: The solution is not far from the problem, but right next to it.

People, even within the same family, have different ways of doing things. Some people are flexible and quick-thinker, while others are rule-bound and structured. Communication styles and emotional responses also vary. Each characteristic has both advantages and disadvantages. Learning to appreciate the strengths of those who differ from us will bring balance for us. To achieve this, accepting our differences is the key point.

So, the key to recognizing the stranger at home is in your own hands.